five missed calls, one text. from 2 in the morning.
i cannot believe you still have the nerve
to call & text me aft wht happen last night.
i'm sorry to say this but this time,
we're over with no strings attached.
you only have yourself to blame for
breaking the last tie of friendship we had left.
i really wanted to stay friends, really, i did.
but now, you leave me no choice.


what was going on between him & i,
was nothing short of the truth before we
broke up. i was brutally honest with you abt
my feelings towards him; i never lied to you
nor did i develop any feelings for him
whatsoever. i dont knw wht to believe
anymore because either way, you played her and/or you jst made up the whole scenario jst so tht i'd get angry & spill everything. how could you be so selfish?
rest assured, you shouldve realized
by now that what i told you last night doesnt
differ the slightest bit to what i've
told you frm the very start.


you shouldve thought properly before you
got yourself into this sticky situation but there's
no turning back now, is there? you say you've let go
& i believed you.. i did. i wanted to change for the
better & not push you aside anymore
cause i knew you still needed me to be there for you.
and i do care for you, atleast i did. but even now
that we're over, you got the better of me & broke my heart..
i will say no more. you're as free as a bird now.
you can fool around with whoever you want to now
because i couldnt give two hoots anymore.. i shouldnt.
boy, i've moved on... and its best you should to.


here one last note i have for you. it's a long
one so dont hold your breathe alright?


throughout our whole relationship, i was always contented.
through our countless fights over thetiniestofmatters to saying
how much we loved each other, everything was
just great; nothing short of real and dreamy. (:
we had good times & i wanna thank you for making
me stronger, even by the slightest bit. i wanna thank
you for always being there for me but what i'm
ever so grateful for is that you always believed in me.
hey you. dont be afraid to love again, but be afraid to lose.
learn from the mistakes you've made with me &
redeem yr selfconfidence, yr pride & ego. you lost like
a man but now, you should win like a man. go out
there & wow all those pretty girls because i knw you
can do tht jst as easy as you wowed me late last year.
dude, your in college already & you should enjoy of
wht's left of it. go out & have yourself a good time
because you dont need me to be happy.
if you did, it wouldnt have been impossible to live
through the past 17 years without me. i always loved you
for who you are. now it's your turn to love yourself.


i just hope that one day, soon enough, i'd find the last
strand of forgiveness in me to forgive you. because i
do want us to be friends, but maybe jst not right now.
take good care of yourself & be strong for me alright,
nick? you were always my mystery boy.

uncle dennis & aunty annie are down from London! :D
havent seem 'em in ages & the house doesnt feel seem
quite like it used to be before they came. (: they'll probably
be staying for quite awhile but atleast, it'll help keep my mind
off some things for the time being. (: feel bad for getting
aunty annie sick though ): yeaph, am sick again. and motherceebs,
the feeling is murder. somebody should stab me already =.='
seriously sucks being sick especially when the holidays are so
motherfreakin' near. Ugh.


as for exams, feeling pretty 'laxed already. i mean,
almost all the papers are over. all tht's left is sej1&2,
(in which i may add i jst started
studying on thursday), physics 3, chem 3, sivik & PJ.


went for steamboat dinner with part of the extended fam
down in subang on saturday. initially, we were supposed to go to Yuen
Steamboat but Sarah & Uncle Ho said we should go to
Tasty Pot instead. My gawd, i havent seen so many steamboat
places in one area before but nonetheless, dinner was reaaaal good. (;
ate heaps & we all took so much that we couldnt go for a second serving.
And the aunty annie's face was PRICELESS when she tried durian
ice cream. Hahah, she's a hongkie & she never liked durian.
She says it tastes AND smells horrible. HAHA. Funneh'.


we popped by Pyramid too before heading home. we were all so
jakun in the car cause you knw how Pyramid's parking lots
are like right? Each parking lot has a light on top of it
which is either red or green. red for taken & green for
empty. So Aunty Annie, mom & I were like; "I SEE GREEN!"
"GREEN GREEN GREEN" "THERE'S A GREEN!" "OMG,
GREEN! GOGOGOO!" Hahah.


Aft we parked & everything, it was already abt 9.15pm.
So Sarah & I set off to shop on our own & we had a great
time catching up & talking abt boys (; Haha, man, i miss
tht. And in the span of 45mins, managed to find Sarah
something to wear fr her friends birthday today. Tht's a
real accomplishment kay! I can nvr buy anything within
the first hour I start shopping. -.-
Sarah! We should seriously do this more often. (:
Was home by 11.00pm.
(pictures another day alright?)

am always in this position where
everyone always thinks i'm the bad one.
i dont knw why really.
is there really something wrong with
me or what? don't i deserve to be happy too?


been frequently updating on my twit so
if you wanna keep track of wht's been going
on lately, then you shoud follow me here.


have a good night guys. i'mma sleep.