Thursday, August 04, 2011
@ 4:15 AM
Among the few things I don't understand in life are the ones we call "friends" . It's easy to call anyone a friend I think. It's just a matter of how good these people we call "friends" , are. It's usually only a matter of time before their true colours begin to show.
I've been very picky with my friends throughout my entire life. By this, I don't mean I pick friends by status or looks. If you know me well enough, you should know I'm a very simple girl; Money isn't all that, fancysmhancy, flashy things aren't that bigve a deal... I like things simple, basically. That's why when it comes to friends, it doesn't matter to me if you're rich, poor, short, tall, thin, fat, or whtvr, it's just a matter of how good of a friend you're willing to be.
The one thing that really gets to me are the ones that act all nice to you, but go around bad-mouthing abt you to other people when you're not there; I've learn to stop giving two hoots about these sortve people, because half the time, they can't even get their facts straight & most of the time, it's utter bull. I know because I've been through this tons of times, all because I've been judged for the things I do, or for the people I hang out with, or for the things that people have said about me. I think it's quite the norm in our modern day society to judge. BUT, I could never come to comprehend why these things ALWAYS had to happen to me because I never knew what I was doing wrong.
Then there are the ones that come to you only in times of need. Sure, you want me to care about you & help you out, not a problem. But when things are all good & back to normal, these are the ones that conveniently forget about those who've helped them out through the worst of times. Let me make this clear, it's not about returning favours or being calculative, but it's about the principle behind it all.
Just a heads up? Don't expect me to be nice to you if you're gonna be this arsey to me. I'm not the kind who's gonna pretend that I like you when I don't. When I was younger, I never wanted to be on anyone's bad side, so I'd try my very best to be a good friend to everyone. I was completely oblivious to the fact that I actually had so many people who thought so lowly of me until I opened a Formspring account late last year. Never in my life did I have a clue that so many people had something bad to say about me.
Thing is, I know I'm not perfect. I never was nor did I ever say I was born perfect. I'm still struggling with my faults & flaws every other day. I know I've done some pretty bad things in the past, some selfish acts at that, but it just got to a point when I stopped caring about keeping everyone else happy, except myself.
I still care about the better friends in life, I always have & I always will. I can't deny that I'm wary of certain characters that may just cross the line though. I don't know, and I won't know until they do probably. But I am THAT close to exploding at one person, in particular, but I'm just gonna keep it in for now. I'm a very straightforward person, so I'm not gonna waste any time talking shit about you, when I can tell you off right in the face. So don't be surprised if I do.
I know I may not be the greatest friend anyone has ever had, and I have a VERY bad habit of forgetting to reply text messages or call people out when I tell them that I will, but I do hope you guys can & do understand. I just go with the flow most of the time & I don't quite fancy planning things since I've always gotta urge people to confirm&reconfirm asap. So please don't grow to dislike me because I hardly call anyone out ): I know I owe alot of people an apology for not having catch up with them. heh. please do forgive me, y'all.
Mmm, this post was quite pointless actually, but something made me write this. I don't exactly know what happened, but all I want to say is, judged and be judged. The more things you have to say about those around you, the more people will have to say about you. Take my word for it. Till next time, gnight chicos. x